The Gift of Time

Grieving Physician Helps Other Families to Heal

Dr. Colleen McGee, and her husband Jeff stand in the empty second-floor nursery at their home north of Denver. Colleen walks over to the crib and picks up a new blue-and-red plaid onesie.

“We named him Jack West,” she says with the hint of a grin. “Both Jeff and I were drawn to the West and it seemed like the perfect name for him.”

In April 2019, just over a week before he was due, Jack West McGee died in utero. The memories of Jack’s passing are raw and painful, but Colleen, a St. Anthony North physician, board certified in family medicine and palliative care, is grateful for the memories she and her husband have of their son.

“The nurses at Avista, where I delivered Jack, have a strong fetal demise team,” Colleen says. The team recommended the couple consider using the hospital’s Cuddle Cot once Jack was delivered. Cuddle Cots are cooling bassinets that give grieving parents the gift of time. They cost about $3,000. “The cots allow parents to grieve with their child, rather than having the infant taken away immediately,” says Colleen.

The couple was reluctant at first to use the Cuddle Cot. But in the end, Colleen says the decision to say “yes” granted them the most precious gift of all. The Cuddle Cot gave them time to create memories with their son.

In the eyes of the world, Jack didn’t exist; there was no birth certificate, no record of his arrival,” she says. But the time she and Jeff had with their infant changed that perspective.

“Jack became real. If only for a very short time, he was a part of our family.” Colleen wipes her eyes and hangs Jack’s onesie back in the closet. She and Jeff gaze at the nursery they created — cubed shelves packed with children’s classics like “Goodnight Moon,” part of a library guarded by a bevy of stuffed animals.

From a side table, Colleen picks up a marble-framed photograph of Jack. “We soaked in every precious inch of him — ruby lips, my button nose, Jeff’s funny hair line. We held Jack close, kissed his forehead, hands, and feet, and told him how loved he was and about all the dreams we had for him.”

Colleen’s colleagues at the St. Anthony North Family Medicine Residency Program wanted to find a way to support their colleague and friend, and Colleen wanted to ensure that St. Anthony North’s birth center had a Cuddle Cot available for any family that ever experienced the tragic loss of a baby. Through an outpouring of generosity from St. Anthony North associates and Walk With Me, a local nonprofit that helps grieving parents heal, the Foundation was able to give St. Anthony North a dedicated Cuddle Cot, books and memorabilia supplies. Many of these associates recently gathered in a conference room at the hospital.

Eyes were red, and the Kleenex boxes were passed around. But beyond the grief, there was love and generosity. The boyishly bright-blue box that contained the Cuddle Cot was engraved with a bronze plaque. “In loving memory of our perfect son, Jack West McGee. April 22, 2019.”